days like these

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I am a writer. A student. A daughter, a girlfriend, a creator, an agnostic, a waiter, a reader, a crier, a hugger… I have a past and a future. There are some memories that make me very sad, and many more that make me happy. I like having a project (like a blog), and hate being idle for more than a few days. I have pretty low self confidence. I love the rain. I love coffee. I’m awkward. I have very few true friends, but my best friend in the world takes care of me and tells me he loves me every day. I have a wonderful family. I am creative, smart, and occasionally beautiful.

Every day I wake up. I breathe, I eat, I shower, I sleep, I talk, I write, I read…

I sit on my butt on my couch, I think of reasons to be depressed, and [usually] I override those reasons by remembering all the happy things, all the love that fills my life. But sometimes, like today, my mind keeps circling those sad spaces, sometimes, like this week, I have a tough time pulling myself up out of the dark places. On those days, these weeks, I sink for a while.

I sink until something inside me clicks, and I realize I don’t want to sink. That’s usually when I get on the treadmill, or start a new diet, or call my best friend, or start a good book, but today I’m writing  this. I writing this so that all of you know me a little better, get a glimpse into me. Next I’ll get on the treadmill or start that book… but right now, it feels good to have my fingers to the keyboard. 

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Filed under my own stories, Thoughts on writing

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